Where to Fit?

Being a  half Sudanese who has fallen victim to this kind of racial policing, I am always curious to see in what ways non-Sudanese react to our racial ambiguity. By racial ambiguity I am not only referring to the color of one’s skin or the texture of one’s hair. The majority of us carry different combinations of African, Arab and Muslim identities. In non-Black Arab spaces I avoided speaking Arabic for fear of spawning confusion. And in Black spaces, I feared that my Arabness undermined my blackness. Even being around just African American you sense of “belonging” gets lost. Them not accepting me because I am not fully “black”. Just because your hair texture is different, your skin shader is darker or lighter, you speaking a second language should not affect where you fit in. It’s still a real issue today but my younger generation are nothing and becoming more aware of it. Today I now speak Arabic whenever or wherever.

 

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